Note: If you are going to be in an environment with abusive people, some things on this list may help you but others will not. In such a case, focus on safety planning for yourself. Get a therapist, a friend, or an advocate at a domestic violence program to help you make a plan. Enjoying…
Category Archives: Personal Growth
16 Surprising Things That Might Make You Happier
There are a lot of ideas out there about what will make you happier. Some of them are ones we hear about a lot (eg. gratitude). Others are more surprising. Following is a list of 16 surprising things that research has shown might make you happier in some way. Having plants and flowers in your…
What Happens When Fear Wins?
A colleague recently posed an interesting question as a topic for a blog post: What happens when fear wins? My answer: if the fearful part of you “wins” and prevents you from doing something, give that part of you a trophy. And then pay attention to the fearful part because that part is probably really…
How Your Communication Style Affects Others
Sometimes it is helpful to understand the impact your communication style has on other people. While every interaction is different, there are some common reactions people have to different communication styles. If you are aggressive, other people may react to you with fear or anxiety. They may be timid around you because they don’t want…
Action is Better Than Tea
After there is a mass shooting or other horrifying event, I sometimes see articles written by therapists on how to cope. They talk about self-care, reducing exposure to media and getting support. You know, drink herbal tea, eat right, do some yoga, go to therapy. Things like that. While I am very much in favor…
Seven Ways to Use Your Smartphone to Improve Your Mental Health
Nobody taught me anything about using smartphones when I was in graduate school in the late ’90s. But I’ve counseled a lot of clients since then and found a lot of ways smartphones can be used to support mental health. Here are my top seven. Give yourself supportive messages when you need them. If you…
Ocean of Feelings
I often compare feelings to the ocean. We stand on the beach and the waves of feelings wash over us and then recede. The problem is that most of us were trained to interfere with this natural process. We avoid the water and stay high up on the hot sand, worried about getting wet. Or…
