You have a lot of mental energy freed up to focus on other things and you can do what you want to do now without waiting until you look better. You can buy clothing because you like it and not because it hides what you dislike about your body. You can exercise for enjoyment. You…
Beginnings, Middles and Endings
I often explore with clients what part of their experiences are most easy and most difficult for them — beginnings, middles or endings? I think most of us have challenges in one or more stages. It is useful to be aware of both our challenges and our strengths. If your strength is beginnings, you might…
Negative Body Image is Bad for Your Health
Lots of people have negative feelings about their bodies. It’s hard to find people (at least in the US) who are happy with their bodies the way they are. Specifically, many people are worried about being too fat and dislike their bodies because they are not thin enough. Aside from the obvious consequence of not…
How To Say “No”
Many of my clients have struggled with the question of how to say “no” to others.1 Too often, people find themselves overcommitted and resentful and doing things they don’t like. Let’s use an example of a colleague’s asking you to be in charge of a project. You are in charge of several projects right now…
Developing A Supportive Community
Therapists like me provide a lot of support to clients. But, in my opinion, support from a therapist is not enough to create the kind of meaningful, peaceful, connected, vibrant life that most of us want. Even support from a therapy group is not enough. We need more. We need community. A supportive community is…
Dieting and Control
When people suddenly start to talk about wanting to lose weight when they haven’t been talking about it before, I wonder what is going on for them. Frequently, what I find out is they are feeling powerless. It seems to me that dieting1 is often a way for people who feel powerless to assert some…