A message for survivors of sexual assault, rape and abuse
Dear ones,
There are not a lot of things that are more triggering of trauma responses than witnessing something like the trauma you survived played out on a national scale in the media. If you are having a hard time right now, it makes sense.
One of the things we tend to do when we are reminded of painful things we have experienced is to take our feelings of anger and hurt and disappointment and turn them towards ourselves. That being the case, I want you to know:
The anger you feel at yourself for being hurt is misdirected. Remind yourself you are angry at those who hurt you.
The disappointment you feel in yourself for not being good enough is misdirected. Remind yourself you are disappointed in other people who are not good enough — in your life, in the government and in the Supreme Court.
The shame you feel because of what you went through is misdirected. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Remind yourself that it is the people who hurt you who should be ashamed. The people who didn’t believe you should be ashamed. The institutions that did not support you should be ashamed.
The disgust you feel about yourself and your body is misdirected. Remind yourself that assaulting people is disgusting, ignoring other people’s pain is disgusting, injustice is disgusting. Not you.
You have been hurt enough. You do not need to punish yourself or feel worse about yourself than you already do. Take those judgments and negative feelings about yourself and direct them towards the people who deserve them.
I believe you. I believe in you. I am with you.
Cindy