LGBTQ-Friendly Psychotherapy — Part 2

Beyond the Minimum How can you tell if your therapist truly has expertise in working with LGBTQ* clients beyond the minimum standards discussed in Part 1? If you have a choice between therapists who meet the minimum standards, look for these additional qualifications. Good LGBTQ-friendly therapists are: Open about working with LGBTQ people. Their advertising,…

LGBTQ-Friendly Psychotherapy — Part 1

The Minimum My practice has always had a particular focus on serving the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ)* communities. Sometimes, I work with clients on issues specifically related to being LGBTQ such as coming out or gender transition/affirmation or dealing with discrimination. More frequently, I work with LGBTQ clients for whom being LGBTQ…

Ocean of Feelings

I often compare feelings to the ocean. We stand on the beach and the waves of feelings wash over us and then recede. The problem is that most of us were trained to interfere with this natural process. We avoid the water and stay high up on the hot sand, worried about getting wet. Or…

Love Yourself

Lots of people seem to worry about whether a therapist will see something about them as pathological. In my opinion as a psychotherapist, there is nothing inherently problematic about being: Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Genderqueer Asexual Polyamorous Non-monogamous Into kink/BDSM Religious Not religious Fat Of course, there is nothing problematic about lots of things, but…

Ten Ways to Ground Yourself

Do you get overwhelmed by your emotions and have a hard time calming yourself? Do you feel numb and dissociated? Do you have trauma responses that lead you to get stuck in your memories of the past? If so, here are ten ideas for ways to ground yourself. Sing one of your favorite songs. Pick…

A Handy Guide to Relationships

Estranged relationship: Codependent or enmeshed relationship: Relationship in which there is abuse: Healthy relationship:

Top Ten Advantages of Liking Your Body As It Is

You have a lot of mental energy freed up to focus on other things and you can do what you want to do now without waiting until you look better. You can buy clothing because you like it and not because it hides what you dislike about your body. You can exercise for enjoyment. You…

Beginnings, Middles and Endings

I often explore with clients what part of their experiences are most easy and most difficult for them — beginnings, middles or endings? I think most of us have challenges in one or more stages. It is useful to be aware of both our challenges and our strengths. If your strength is beginnings, you might…

Negative Body Image is Bad for Your Health

Lots of people have negative feelings about their bodies. It’s hard to find people (at least in the US) who are happy with their bodies the way they are. Specifically, many people are worried about being too fat and dislike their bodies because they are not thin enough. Aside from the obvious consequence of not…

How To Say “No”

Many of my clients have struggled with the question of how to say “no” to others.* Too often, people find themselves overcommitted and resentful and doing things they don’t like. Let’s use an example of a colleague’s asking you to be in charge of a project. You are in charge of several projects right now…