Author Archives: cindy

Ten Ways to Ground Yourself

Do you get overwhelmed by your emotions and have a hard time calming yourself? Do you feel numb and dissociated? Do you have trauma responses that lead you to get stuck in your memories of the past? If so, here are ten ideas for ways to ground yourself. Sing one of your favorite songs. Pick…

A Handy Guide to Relationships

Estranged relationship: Codependent or enmeshed relationship: Relationship in which there is abuse: Healthy relationship:

Top Ten Advantages of Liking Your Body As It Is

You have a lot of mental energy freed up to focus on other things and you can do what you want to do now without waiting until you look better. You can buy clothing because you like it and not because it hides what you dislike about your body. You can exercise for enjoyment. You…

Beginnings, Middles and Endings

I often explore with clients what part of their experiences are most easy and most difficult for them — beginnings, middles or endings? I think most of us have challenges in one or more stages. It is useful to be aware of both our challenges and our strengths. If your strength is beginnings, you might…

Negative Body Image is Bad for Your Health

Lots of people have negative feelings about their bodies. It’s hard to find people (at least in the US) who are happy with their bodies the way they are. Specifically, many people are worried about being too fat and dislike their bodies because they are not thin enough. Aside from the obvious consequence of not…

How To Say “No”

Many of my clients have struggled with the question of how to say “no” to others.* Too often, people find themselves overcommitted and resentful and doing things they don’t like. Let’s use an example of a colleague’s asking you to be in charge of a project. You are in charge of several projects right now…

Therapists and Friends

Top Five Things Your Therapist Can Give You, But Probably Not Your Friends Education on different topics relevant to you. “Homework,” when appropriate. A diagnosis and information about what it means. Attention completely focused on you at a time set aside for you each week. Tissues. (OK, your friends can give you tissues, but are…

Secrets and Lies in Therapy

I am often surprised by how many clients there are who tell me that they have lied to past therapists. Clients usually tell me this as if they are confessing to a past sin. Then it is their turn to be surprised by what I tell them. I tell them that if they need to…

Developing A Supportive Community

Therapists like me provide a lot of support to clients. But, in my opinion, support from a therapist is not enough to create the kind of meaningful, peaceful, connected, vibrant life that most of us want. Even support from a therapy group is not enough. We need more. We need community. A supportive community is…

Dieting and Control

When people suddenly start to talk about wanting to lose weight when they haven’t been talking about it before, I wonder what is going on for them. Frequently, what I find out is they are feeling powerless. It seems to me that dieting* is often a way for people who feel powerless to assert some…