Author Archives: cindy

Individual Therapy Is About Relationship

In order for individual therapy to be worth your time and effort and money, it has to be more effective than a popular psychology book. Right? Otherwise, you could check a book out from the library, read it, implement the suggestions, and be done. Some of those books have great ideas. Many are written by…

Should You Recommend Your Therapist?

Let’s say you have a therapist you really like and a friend asks if you know of any good therapists. Should you recommend your therapist? The answer is not as simple as it might appear. Here are some questions to consider. How close are you to the person who is in need of a therapist?…

“Do You Have A Specialty?”

When starting my private practice I read a lot of articles about how therapists should market and advertise their practices to attract new clients. One of the most common pieces of advice I read was that it is very important for therapists to have a “specialty,” a “niche,” an area of expertise that sets them…

Is It A Trauma Response?

Clients who have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder symptoms sometimes have difficulty figuring out whether a current feeling or reaction is a trauma response. How can you tell if you are having a trauma response or just having a typical feeling or reaction to your present day life? Here are some indications that you are having a…

Abuse, Minimization and Self-Blame

“It wasn’t that bad.” “Other people had it much worse.” “It’s not like I was abused or anything.” “I should be over it by now.” “Why am I still thinking about it?” “I wouldn’t call it trauma.” “It really was my fault because….” I have heard statements like these over and over again from clients…

LGBTQ-Friendly Psychotherapy — Part 3

Relationships and Families LGBTQ* people have relationships and families and, like anyone else, may need therapy for relationship and family issues. Beyond the qualifications discussed in Parts 1 and 2, how do you know whether a therapist is qualified to help you and your LGBTQ family? Skilled LGBTQ-friendly therapists for relationships and families are: Comfortable…

LGBTQ-Friendly Psychotherapy — Part 2

Beyond the Minimum How can you tell if your therapist truly has expertise in working with LGBTQ* clients beyond the minimum standards discussed in Part 1? If you have a choice between therapists who meet the minimum standards, look for these additional qualifications. Good LGBTQ-friendly therapists are: Open about working with LGBTQ people. Their advertising,…

LGBTQ-Friendly Psychotherapy — Part 1

The Minimum My practice has always had a particular focus on serving the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ)* communities. Sometimes, I work with clients on issues specifically related to being LGBTQ such as coming out or gender transition/affirmation or dealing with discrimination. More frequently, I work with LGBTQ clients for whom being LGBTQ…

Ocean of Feelings

I often compare feelings to the ocean. We stand on the beach and the waves of feelings wash over us and then recede. The problem is that most of us were trained to interfere with this natural process. We avoid the water and stay high up on the hot sand, worried about getting wet. Or…

Love Yourself

Lots of people seem to worry about whether a therapist will see something about them as pathological. In my opinion as a psychotherapist, there is nothing inherently problematic about being: Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Genderqueer Asexual Polyamorous Non-monogamous Into kink/BDSM Religious Not religious Fat Of course, there is nothing problematic about lots of things, but…